Randomocity

Hello lovely ones.


Today my brain is just bouncing from one thing to another.  I'm having a hard time tethering it to one place and letting it work there before bouncing to the next thing.  That makes productivity at the office something of a challenge.


I have 7 days until surgery so  I am trying to be my typical detailed task driven self, well, not how I am in my after hours life but in my work life.  I want order and productivity and things marked off my to do list.  I want to make sure that while I'm out no one has to get bogged down doing my job.  I want perfection.  I know things will change and shift while I'm out just like they do when I'm here but I want to have everything ordered so that when things shift and changes need to be made, no one has to recreate the wheel to make it happen.


But while I sit here at my desk (It's my lunch time as I share my rambled brain) all I can think about is all the stuff I need to do at home.  My want list.  My how do I take care of that list.  And the really fun, can I take on that project and get it done before it's time for surgery and recovery and not being able to do the big tasks.  Then there is the thought of chores and finances and paperwork and organizing the house and how best to get rid of the clothes I took out of my closet?  Sigh.  I overwhelm myself sometimes. 


This is how my brain works.  It's a scary place to people who aren't comfortable with a lot of randomocity and chaos.  I like making order of chaos but when I can't focus long enough to work through it I become overwhelmed. 


I want control and I don't have control of this.  So that contributes to my sense of being overwhelmed.  I have to completely trust and rely on God to take me through this.  I know He is good and He loves me and has good plans for me.  In my head I have no doubts.  In my head I know these truths to be completely true and that God is trustworthy beyond any shadow of doubt.  In my heart I think, what can I do?  What can I control in this equation? 


So I toil and struggle with trying to control my surroundings. 


Well maybe now that I have shared some of the weirdness from my brain , maybe now I can focus on the little bit I can control for this moment and worry about other things later. 


Enjoy the day.  Be kind and loving even in the face of rudeness because you never know who needs your smile and kind word.


Loves!